January 9, 2011

  • radical psalms.

    So apparently Xanga now offers the ability to change the URL of your page, for a small fee. I considered it for a little while today; I could go to something more logical like "bengarmoe.xanga.com" and make this page more accessible. The name "disunderstanded" came from one of those stupid ideas you get in middle school. I was tired of my old screen name (pinhead724; ask me the story) and wanted something more creative. So, in my infinite wisdom, I came up with a word that represented the word "misunderstood," except the word itself was misunderstood. I attached it to AIM, MySpace, and my friend Xanga right here, and it stuck. As Facebook and Twitter rolled around, I became more comfortable just using my name, and so "disunderstanded" began to fade into the sunset. 

    But in the end, I think it's better than this blog stay largely undiscovered. It's logical to keep it connected to my past, because it contains more than six years of me and my most diverse thoughts, rants and emotions. It's better that its daily traffic consist of random visitors who stray onto my main page after finding an old entry through Google from when I used to tag my entries in order to make them more likely to get noticed. It's just me and my thoughts here, and I like that; it lets me talk about life, my job, love, women, sports, politics, and whatever else I feel like discussing. It exists, and I don't hide it, but only a select few realize that I still spend many an evening using this space to offload whatever may be on my mind. Much of it is private; I finished a lengthy private entry not 10 minutes ago that addresses a few different situations right now that just shouldn't be discussed on a public forum. I use it both as a journal and a blog, and I'm comfortable with the balance I'm able to strike. It's a healthy nostalgia, and it helps me keep life in perspective when I may be frustrated or annoyed (which I will admit to being a bit tonight, for a host of random and unconnected reasons). 

    The simple truth is that I appreciate the offer, Xanga, but I'm good. I may be a little older and a lot wiser, but there's a part of me that's still disunderstanded, and I'd prefer to keep it that way.